The knowledge: Flying with baby
Every week a reader gets a chance to put a travel question to the Been there community. How does this work?
This week's experts are Kathryn Crawford, editor of TheBabyWebsite.com and Nicola Davenport, web editor of BabyExpert.com
The dilemma this week:
I'm planning to fly to Hong Kong with my two-year-old daughter. Am I being unrealistic thinking we'll survive a 12+ hour flight without a seat for her? Will it be fine for her to sleep on my knee or on a spare seat (I'm travelling with a friend so if there's a spare seat, she can move and free up a seat if needed), or should I fork out and be assured it's money well spent?
Kate
The experts say:
Kathryn Crawford at TheBabyWebsite.com:
Hello Kate,
Having been on many long-haul flights over the years, with children of varying ages, I can understand your dilemma. In these times of having to tighten our purse-strings it's always tempting to try to save as much as we can whenever possible.
Two-year-olds, as I'm sure you're aware, can be at best unpredictable. When you expect them to be a nuisance they're as good as gold and just when you think they're going to be fine, they promptly go and live up to the time-earned 'terrible twos' reputation.
Long-haul flights are exceedingly boring, even for us as adults, so imagine what they must be like for an infant, whose attention span is significantly shorter than ours. For a toddler to be happy, her mind must be kept active. After the first couple of hours the novelty of the new environment on the plane wears off and she will start to look for new things to occupy her mind.
You need to ask yourself if you'd be able to spend twelve hours in an armchair at home with your daughter on your lap, eating meals on a tray in front of you and obviously allowing for loo breaks. Does the very thought of it horrify you? After how long would she start to become fidgety and restless?
As for the spare seat, my advice would be to assume there won't be one. The airlines, like us, have had to tighten their belts and schedules have been adjusted to ensure that their planes run with higher occupancies and therefore higher profit margins. On some of my recent flights there hasn't been a single seat available. On the most recent, the airline was even having to 'bump' some passengers onto later flights due to over-booking, so the old days of planes flying with lots of empty seats are long gone.
If you can afford to do so, buy her a seat. It'll make the journey so much more pleasant for both you and your daughter and you'll arrive in Hong Kong a lot more relaxed and with a much happier child in tow!
Nicola Davenport at BabyExpert.com:
For goodness’ sake, buy the extra seat! Imagine if you don’t, and the flight is full…
Best case scenario: She sleeps on you. You are too uncomfortable to sleep, can’t go to the loo, can’t even have a cup of coffee because you’ve got a sleeping toddler on your lap. She arrives in HK refreshed and raring to go. You feel like going to bed for a day.
Worst case scenario: You are wrestling with a cross, wriggly toddler on your knee for 12 hours. Neither of you sleep. She cries, she screams. You feel like crying. You can’t eat or drink because you’ve got a toddler on your knee. Everyone on the plane hates you…
Imagine now if she has her own seat. She may not want to be in it all the time but at least you’ve got a bit of space to spread out, or she can lie across her seat, head on your lap.
You could also consider taking a car seat to strap her into: check with your airline if it will fit.
Top tip: As soon as you’re on board, apologise in advance to surrounding passengers in case your child disturbs them, makes a fuss, kicks their seat. Ask them to let you know if she’s disturbing them and reassure them you’ll do all you can to minimise any problems. Odds are they’ll be too polite to say anything once the flight’s under way and you can recline in your seat guilt-free. Works for me every time!
The readers say:
If possible book an overnight flight. Most airlines (British Airways for one) allow parents travelling with infants to book the bulk head seats (the one sat in the front of each carriage section with the extra leg room) for no extra cost and a bassinet is attached to the wall in front of the seat. There are usually two different sizes of bassinet (a smaller Moses basket style for younger infants and a larger car seat style for older infants) provided, but check this with the airline before booking. A very small child will probably end up sleeping on your lap unless they are in a bassinet or a car seat as the seats are not really suited to small children's sleep needs. You can take a car seat aboard a flight for your child if you book a seat for them and this will help them sleep more comfortably and is also thought to be safer in case of turbulence. I wouldn't recommend paying for a flight for your child until it is compulsory to do so. For the waking parts of the flight a bag filled with previously unseen (as well as special favourite) books and toys to entertain them with is essential. Take one out at a time. And non-sugary snacks and drinks for strategic administration are also vital.
Sarah
St. Albans
For a long haul flight with a toddler:
1. Buy "Airport" by Byron Barton and read it often to your child before you leave, in the departure lounge, and on the plane.
2. Submit. You are not going to have the same sort of flight you had sans baby. Don't bother taking a book or your ipod. Understand that your role is to keep your toddler amused, satisfied, and clean.
3. Don't bother paying for the extra seat, your child will want to sit on your lap most of the time and will probably fall asleep there too. Airplanes are typically a bit chilly - she'll need the warmth of your body to snuggle against. Save the money for other luxuries, such as taxis.
4. Dress your child as cutely as you can (funny hat, ribbons, sailor suit, etc) - she will endear herself to fellow passengers and the cabin crew. I recently flew with my now four-year-old daughter dressed as Buzz Lightyear - even airport security seemed to go more smoothly...
5. Let her roam around the cabin as freely and safely as possible. She will endear herself to fellow passengers and the cabin crew, as long as she doesn't trip them up.
6. Follow her around the cabin as much as you can - it's way better than being stuck in your seat for hours.
7. Buy one of those self-erasing drawing tablets to doodle with, it'll keep both of you amused for hours without making a big mess.
8. Make sure she's got something to suck on (bottle, dummy) to equalize her ears during ascent and descent.
9. Take an umbrella stroller to use in the airport. It doesn't count as carry-on luggage and will allow you to push the child around, hang bags on, etc. You won't be weighed down with a sleeping toddler in your arms, and heaven forbid there's a long delay in the departure lounge - you'll need it.
10. Eating airport and airplane food for 24 hours doesn't mean you've let your child down.
11. Think positively about the flight as an adventure to be shared with your toddler.
I followed these rules with my toddler on several transatlantic flights, one followed by a six-hour stopover and a five-hour connecting flight. We always arrived in amazingly good shape.
Hope these tips are helpful. Have a great trip!
Susan Pickin
I live in HK and do this trip all the time. I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old. My advice would be:
Get her a seat, if you can afford to - even if she does end up on your lap for a lot of the time, that extra space is a life saver. Room to sleep, to eat, to play. When sleeping, try placing her with her body on her own seat and her legs across your lap. The only time I would say not to buy her a seat is if you can go business class (use air miles to upgrade?) - Cathay's fully-flat beds on business might feel a bit like a coffin, but I curled up quite comfortably with a 15-month-old when I was six months pregnant. When awake, we kept the bed flat and sat and played cross-legged.
Don't get bulk-head seats - these are for the littlest in bassinets, but your daughter is obviously too big. The front row seats arm-rests don't come up, so she won't be able to lie flat across seats.
Go Cathay - the cabin crew are the best with young children.
Do a night flight - Cathay have one that leaves about 6:20pm and arrives reasonably early too (about 1pm I think), which is perfect, as you can keep her awake until you take off. Put her in her pyjamas as soon as you get on board, then she can eat, have her milk and go to sleep at roughly the right time (or rather, only an hour or two late, which is pretty good when flying!). Don't forget her sleep-sack or usual blanket.
Take-off and landing - give her something to eat or drink on take-off and landing to stop her ears popping. I used to time their milk-feeds for this when they were babies, but now I tend to use raisin boxes - wheedling the raisins out the box one by one lasts just the right amount of time!
Take toys - but not too many. My daughter was happy with some crayons and a couple of her "people” at that age. Something that she can be imaginative with. You might also want to surprise her with something new, like a toy phone. Don't be afraid to walk about the plane later in the flight and find other toddlers to meet.
Keep calm and carry on - Everyone has horror stories about flying with toddlers. A friend of mine spent about five hours in the bathroom on one flight as splashing in the sink was the only thing that stopped her son screaming! Just try and keep a sense of perspective. No, the entire flight doesn't hate you, most of them are probably very sympathetic. Bear in mind that, if she doesn't sleep, hey, at least she'll get over jet-lag quicker! Prepare her for exactly what is going to happen in advance. Don't stress over giving her things (snacks, privileges) that you normally wouldn't.
Good luck, and have a fantastic holiday in Hong Kong!
Shroffs
You're not unrealistic, just brave! We've done the long-haul with our son
four times now to Singapore and Brisbane. On the Brisbane trip he didn't
have a seat and was too big for the in-flight carry cots. On the Singapore
trip he had his own seat. I'm not sure if I noticed much of a difference
though, he still slept on top of us through both flights or had his limbs
flailed around us.
In both cases, the only thing I'd recommend is NOT to take a bulk head
seat. The arm rests are fixed so you can not move them up and create a
space for your daughter to lie down. I'd also not assume there may be
free seats elsewhere; the last time I travelled to Singapore I was pregnant, travelling alone with a two-year-old AND the flight was full. My son ended up using my bump as a pillow and kicking some poor Japanese tourist all the way to London.
The thing is, you will survive, even if she sleeps on you the whole time. We've done it, we're still here. I'm not sure flying with kids is meant to be a truly comfortable experience, so I don't think forking out the extra money will be money well spent. I'd say just cross your fingers for that extra seat popping up next to you, just try not to look at your watch too often, make sure your daughter is well fed and watered and get a night flight when you can. And just keep telling yourself, it's only twelve hours!
Hope that helps,
Kristen, mother of two
I have to say - your note to Been There indicates that you haven't done much long-haul travel. Ideas like "I'm travelling with a friend so figure if there's one spare seat, she can move and that frees up a seat for my daughter next to me, if needed" tell me that you haven't flown much.
Chances are, you will be packed in like sardines, barely able to move for 12 hours, never mind at liberty to send your friend "in search of" while you set up a playpen, hang a mobile from the oxygen mask, and get comfortable.
If there were "one spare seat" on the plane, what gives your friend rights to it? If I were next to a spare seat, I would team up with the person on its other side to guard it with our lives! I'd pull every trick in the book - including showing my surgery scars - to stop your friend, with her perfectly good seat somewhere else, squeezing into the empty seat next to me. Why? Because an empty seat is more room for me, and I don't want your bloody friend sliding her arse into a seat she's not ticketed to occupy!
Keep in mind that you're not going by a car. You're not even going by bus. You are going by economy class, and it's a jungle out there.
Sounds like you're a young mum, so this is a novel suggestion to someone your age, but consider other people. You are going to inflict a toddler on many other people in a ruthless situation for a long time. It's great that you have friends to visit in Hong Kong, fantastic that you have the money to buy baby a seat, but have you ever heard the saying "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
Ever see parents board the long-haul plane, after they've made connexions dragging little monsters, fumbling with passports and boarding passes, carrying nappy bags and carry-on luggage, trying to collect checked baggage, coping coping coping? The parents look grim. Murderous. At the very least, cannibalistic - they're ready to bite off their own children's fingers if little hands reach for one more animal cracker out of the nasty, spit-covered Ziploc bag sticking out of Mom's pocket.
If you must do this because you can, get baby a seat of her own. Do yourself a favour and book with a travel agent so you stand a chance at getting bulkhead seating - never mind what it means, dear, just repeat "bulkhead seating" to the agent. And last, hope for the best. Your fellow passengers are going to hate you and won't help you if the plane falls burning from the sky, so keep hope alive.
Sincerely,
Keep That Kid Away From Me
Check in online or at airport early, and choose seats for yourself and
your friend with one spare in the middle - i.e. window and isle with centre seat left empty. That seat should then be one of the very last to go, leaving you with a spare seat for junior. If the flight's full and someone does take that seat, they'll be more than happy to trade places for either the isle or window.
Peter
We have been travelling with our now three-year-old twins since they were two months old to Brazil, Denmark, Spain and Italy both with and without their own seats. From our experience travelling with under two's on our laps worked fine even on long-haul flights. If you can get the bulk head seats and feel comfortable with it, your daughter could even sleep on a blanket or thin mattress on the floor in front of your seat - we have seen that work out well several times. The fact is you are probably going to spend quite some time with your daughter on your lap anyway or walking up and down the isle with her, so in our opinion the extra money might very easily feel like a waste.
All the best,
Fernando and Anja Oliveira
We took our two-and-a-half-year-old to Japan last year to visit my sister, with the connection it was a 14-hour flight one way and 20 hours back. Due to his age we didn't have the option of not buying him a seat, which in retrospect I'm glad about! I think him having his own seat helped the journey a lot - when he was asleep I could get up and go to the loo without disturbing him, and me and my partner could sit on either side of him to create a 'buffer' between him and other passengers - you can see a look of apprehension and even irritation on some passengers faces when you sit down near them with a small child, no matter how well behaved!
My other tips are: suspend all normal rules about new toys - my son was obsessed with the Pixar film Cars at the time so my handbag was stuffed with new toys, whenever he looked like he was getting bored we pulled one out and by the end of the journey he had a whole collection to play with while on holiday. The cabin crew and other passengers commented on how good he'd been when we arrived in Tokyo, and his first comment on touching down was 'That was a lovely journey'!..
Also splash out on a Trunki for her. Your daughter is too young to pull her own suitcase around a large airport for long, which means you'll end up carrying her and her luggage when she's tired. With a Trunki you can pull her by the strap and she can enjoy the ride - it definitely improved our travel experience!
Good luck and enjoy your holiday!
Rachel
If you can afford a seat, get one. However, either way, don't get the front seats that airlines usually put children into. These are only useful if you need a bassinet which she is too big for, but the main disadvantage is that the seat rests don't lift up, therefore no matter how many seats you have, your child can't stretch out horizontally and will have to sleep sitting up. Further back the plane is better. Of course the disadvantage is that there will be seats in front which people will want to put back but that is still a better option.
Other tips: think in 10-minute segments: 10 minutes colouring in, 10 minutes going for a walk around the plane, 10 minutes watching the TV etc. Go on a non-European airline if possible: Singapore Airlines, Emirates, Malaysian, Cathay etc are much more child-friendly than European airlines who usually see you as a complete inconvenience.
Try to go on as a big a plane as possible (747 etc). Larger plane means a larger 'lap' for doing circuits. Check in online as early as possible and think carefully about seat selection - something in the middle where you can access both aisles is the best. This means you sacrifice the window for viewing, but that's no real loss - it's often cloudy or dark anyway.
Finally if she isn't well behaved just remember that you have probably spent many flights experiencing other people's children. Now it is their turn to experience yours!
Good luck.
Lisa
I have travelled to Pakistan via Dubai and Turkey three times in the last year, two times with my wife and three children aged five, four and 18 month; once with two children – it took us 15 odd hours via Dubai due to the transit flight. The two older children had their own seats but still ended up in our laps until they fell asleep and we placed them back in their own seats. The 18-month-old was left to do what he liked more or less - you have to, they cant run off very far. They'll only sleep a couple of hours at the most, believe me, so it's not any more troublesome than a long car journey.
Thanks,
Ahmed Ghazali
Most of the airlines provide a baby cot, attached to the bulkhead in front of the parent, especially if you pre-arrange this with the particular airline you're booked on. such cots are comfortable for long period of sleep and make the parent "free” while baby sleeps there.
Dunajszky
I work in the travel industry and we often get asked this question as any child over two years old would definitely have to get their own seat. However, there is a fine line when it comes to toddlers and some parents feel that they can cope with having a child for fourteen hours on their laps.
The consideration you must also take is that airlines are notorious for over booking, and certainly if they do that there is no guarantee that there will be seats available. In my years of flying I have only recently been on one aeroplane with BA which was less than 75% full.
I also fail to understand why parents never take into consideration others who are also travelling. I do not mean any offence, but there is nothing worse than children that are testy and parents trying to keep them still on a long flight. Having said that I do understand that airlines do charge a lot and it can be a stretch for some parents. Nevertheless, fourteen hours is a long time for anyone travelling and when you are trying to sleep please take into consideration the fact that your toddler would probably like his own space.
Kindest regards,
Ameena
We recently flew to Australia from the UK with our boy, Archie, who was seven months old at the time. And guess what? More than 24 hours on the go actually wasn't that bad. Honest.
The main thing you need to check is whether your daughter can fit in the cot that airlines plug into the wall in front of you. It's likely she's too big, in which case, you can plonk her on the floor in front of you for most of the flight. But you'll need to ask the airline for as much leg room as possible. Remember, kiddies can wander about a bit on the plane too.
Another top tip is not to board the plane until the last minute. Let everyone board, let baby keep playing in the departure lounge/gate and then board. This helps lessen baby's (and parents') boredom with their in-flight surroundings.
The other question is 'should I drug my baby?' Although we had misgivings, we ended up putting Calpol in Archie's milk. The stuff is obviously pretty noxious, but it worked and Archie slept for a lot of the flight. There may be some healthier/organic/sugar-free alternatives about.
Last, I would say don't worry too much. Babies on a plane? It could be snakes on a plane. Just keep calm and try and enjoy it. Think of it as time you can spend playing with your kid. Obviously, that goes out the window if they have a tantrum, but with plenty of toys, non-sugary nibbles and some energetic parents, they won't.
Tom Allen
As someone who lives in New Zealand and has regularly travelled with, and without, children to Europe I would like to say that there is no price too great for travelling in comfort. It will drive you mad to have your not-quite-two-year old daughter sit on your lap for 12+ hours.
She will be way too big for the bassinet and you can't lie her on the floor. Not only that, but you will be doing yourself and your friend a favour by having the extra space. Never rely on there being an empty seat that your friend can move to either. Just when you need that to happen, it doesn't!
So my advice is fork out the cash and get a good start to your holiday. Another tip - take some little presents for her to open during the trip to constantly amaze and excite her - little pens, books, toys, sweeties, whatever - bribery and coercion are great on a long plane trip.
Don't forget the wet-wipes and take plenty of spare nappies.
Regards,
Claire
Auckland, NZ
We just returned from holiday where I travelled with an infant of eight months. Even though I was given the bassinet seat, whenever we experienced turbulence, I had to remove (just when she fell asleep) my daughter from the bassinet and to keep her on my lap. It was the most tiring trip I have ever had. We have a long way to go to her second birthday, but my advice is to pay for that extra seat. You and your baby will have a much more enjoyable trip.
We will take another trip in December 2009 when she will be 11 months, but I have already decided on getting her own seat.
Hope this helps.
Best regards,
Ms Machelle Una Samuels
BUY A SEAT! I would recommend buying a seat as it will be so much easier and comfortable for you both.
I travelled short haul when my son was 18 months old. It was terrible, but at 18 months old it is expected that they sit on the parents laps. He wiggled, whined, got bored, cried, wanted to move round, it was a very unpleasant journey of only three hours and wasn`t pleasant for those sat around us.
After that experience I know that when the time came for a long-haul flight, it would be separate seats. He was two years old and it was a trip to Oz, so two long flights. I travelled with my husband and we had him in the middle seat between us both. He had his own tray so he could put toys on there and colouring pencils etc, and also a drink and snacks as the trays cannot be realistically put down if the child is on your lap. The good thing about long-haul is that the isles tend to be wider than those on the budget airlines so a walk about isn`t too difficult.
Sleep wise, I think that the cramp you may experience from her asleep on your lap would mean that neither of you will arrive in Hong Kong feeling refreshed. Her own seat will mean she can curl up and feel comfy and at least you can have the freedom to pop to the loo, read a book etc.
In my opinion it was money well spent on a seat for my son (he was two though so it was compulsory to buy the seat).
Claire Jones
I travelled from London to Philadelphia with 14-month-old twins and I definitely recommend getting your toddler her own seat. Having a child sitting on your lap is exhausting for 12 hours and you are never guaranteed an empty seat next to you. One of my girls slept on the floor in a blanket, but the other was awake the whole eight hours!
Air pressure is also a problem - having a drink on-hand is useful as well as entertainment a-plenty! (We went BA, and they gave us activity packs for the children).
Accept the possibility she may cry or whinge. A sense of humour is a must!
Sam Gallagher
Yes, you absolutely should book a seat for your daughter. She's too big to sit and sleep in your lap, and her frustration if very constrained almost guarantees crying and noise, and an unhappy child. We fly a lot with our daughter (now three and a half) and she has had only one unhappy flight, where she was too hemmed in (and we didn't quite realise ... anyway). Her own seat also gives her a sense of growing up, pride that she's a big girl now, and something to talk about long after the trip. I know it's a lot of money, but what price a happy toddler, and a happy you, after such a long flight and all that jetlag?
Tony
It depends how busy the flight is. If there are free seats around, you
can get an extra seat for your toddler when you need it without paying
for it (anyway, you will only need it for short and erratic periods of
time). But if the flight is jam packed, I would definitely pay for some
space to breath. 12 hours trapped in a tin with a toddler on your knees
can be quite claustrophobic.
George
My wife deserves many medals and a sainthood for flying between Hong Kong and the UK with our toddler when we lived in Asia. Travelling with a young child who has discovered the joys of toddling and has no appreciation of why they should stay in a confined space for 12 hours is challenging enough without trying to balance your child on your lap or gamble that there might be a spare seat.. Absolutely have a seat for your toddler. The alternative arrangement provides you with little refuge, no opportunity to have any rest let alone sleep and increases the likelihood that your toddler will invade the space of the person
sitting next to you. Handling jet lag once you arrive/return is grim enough without being totally wiped out from the flight (toddlers seem to have little regard for jet lag, maybe because they don't know about it).
It is also worth choosing your airline with care. British Airways' more mature flight attendants had an appreciation of the challenges that parents with toddlers face that other airlines with younger flight attendants rarely showed.
Enjoy Hong Kong. It's a wonderful city and very child friendly.
Mark David
As one who's been back and forth from Tokyo to New York innumerable times with my daughter, now 15, I recommend strongly that you invest in a separate seat for your daughter. I say "invest" because you will reap huge dividends in the form of space in which to stretch out when your child finally falls asleep. Flying with a small child can be fun - all kids love planes, and everything is new to them - but it's surprising how heavy they become when passed out for hours in your lap.
Also - bring lots of drawing materials and small toys. Get on the good side of the flight attendants; they can help a lot. Getting a bulkhead seat will give you much more room. Good luck!
Beverly Hasegawa
Tokyo, Japan
From experience this will depend on a few factors. I had my daughter on my lap between London and Eilat just weeks before her second birthday and would say it depends on:
1) how heavy, and also energetic and wriggly the child is. Mine was happy to sit quietly or sleep nearly the whole way.
2) the tolerance of your friend and those about you. I was with my sister who was nice enough to let my daughter lie across our laps when she fell asleep, and her feet were accommodated for an hour by a really lovely female stranger in the 3rd seat!
3) Think about eating and food trays! This can be difficult with a child in your lap. My sister and I ate one by one, with the help of the air hostesses.
4) Spare seats? Maybe - but don't count on it!
If you can afford it, the spare seat will definitely be worth it. I made it to Eilat and back; but would not have wanted to do a longer journey - and certainly not with a child any less angelic than mine!
Julie Tese
First, look at what the airlines provide. BA used to (may still do) provide 'car seat' style seats to attach to the bulkhead so that an under-two can sleep in those rather than on your knee. Whether your child uses it or not, it does guarantee you a bulkhead seat - useful extra leg room or, as used by my son, play space out of the corridors (we'd been upgraded to economy plus, with bulkhead, as the airline messed our booking up - may be worth considering paying this if cheaper than a seat as you may get more legroom i.e. floor). The reality is your daughter may decide to sleep on you whether you buy an extra seat or not; the extra seat is more likely to be used as a table, space for bags or something. And if there is someone sitting in that precious 3rd seat (assuming you're not in the bulkhead) then they may balk at the idea of sitting near a toddler and move anyway!
Definitely focus on the changes of clothes - for your daughter, you, and your friend. Bring at least two for your child. It's easy to forget the change for an adult; 12 hours with a toddler is bearable, but not 12 hours covered in vomit or po!
Obviously bring favourite food and snacks - but remember to leave leftover fruit and veg on-board or dump it in bins as you get to the airport as I assume Hong Kong won't allow such foods to pass the border and you don't want to have to declare it! Worth bringing sachets of Calpol too, but avoid too many sweets or chocolate or treats that seem like a good idea at the time, but not when you have a hyper child vomiting over you.
Naturally books and toys to amuse, but someone gave my son a plastic bottle with a coin in at check-in and it amused him for longer than his toys - so be creative! Most airlines sell a toy plane that makes a taking off noise and comes with an airport mat - about £10 - a good investment after the novelty of seatbelts has work off.
And while getting on the plane early may have the benefit of getting your child settled, it does mean that you have even longer to wait for the big taking off event, and your daughter may be bored with the seatbelts and toys by then and you still have a 12 hour flight. Sick bags are quite fun for a toy - and not much use for a two-year old to actually vomit into. But I only know one child who's vomited on a plane so it's unlikely to happen anyway.
If your daughter won't stop kicking the seats, take her shoes off to make it more bearable for the person in front. If the person in front is particularly grumpy, make a point of asking the cabin crew if you can move to stop them being disrupted - at least you've tried and they know you have - then settle back and try not to get too stressed if possible.
At check-in, ask about the best options, including bulk head (they won't give you the space near the doors) and get to check-in early. Preferably, phone the airline when you book and a week before check-in and just before on-line check in opens to try and get them to reserve you the seats that you want - it's worth trying and confirming as often as you can. Some of them can be really helpful as they'd rather have a happy child, but it may depend on who answers the phone, hence worth calling again and on-line check-in changes how it all works now I think.
Mostly, be prepared that it may not be the most fun 14 hours of your life, but it is just that!
Pippa Jones
We recently flew with our one-year-old on a 22-hour marathon from Melbourne to London, return on Air Asia X – the budget long haul service – via Kuala Lumpur.
Consider yourself lucky that Hong Kong is a mere 14 hours away without any stops. It is not an enjoyable experience, but there are things you can do to make it a little easier.
We did the London to KL leg in premium economy. I strongly recommend you upgrade rather than buy an extra seat for your little one. You can use the large area between your feet and the seats in front as a play area, which is far more effective than having them wriggle about in their own seat.
Our daughter was too young to be impressed by the entertainment system, so rotate the toys you give your daughter so they don't become bored.
We requested a seat next to a bassinet which was a godsend as it allowed us to rest without her on our laps, though I think these have a 12kg weight limit.
Hope that helps,
Oliver Newbery