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First ensure you’ve had a couple of kwak beers in their proper glass, then head upstairs to Toone’s theatre with its puppets dangling from the eaves, take your place on the bench – and be prepared to not understand very much. Fear not though, this is normal. This is Bruxellois.
This time it is an adaptation of Hamlet, transported to the backstreets and canal of Brussels. There is a bit of hanky panky between King and Queen, a regal ghost burning his bottom on the fires of purgatory, and someone has caught the “English” flu. Sitting near the front you can appreciate the arms behind the artifice: 7 young puppeteers are needed to perform the show, and the lead puppeteer (Toone VIII) is also ticketmaster, barman and answerer of baffled-tourist questions.
“To be or not to be: that is the cwestion…” We’ll say this in English, that way everyone can say they didn’t understand a thing”, says one of the characters. But perhaps this Bruxellois dialect isn’t so tricky after all. There’s a spuuk in this play, you know, and a snotneus, and a stoemmeriek (stupid person). Mostly performances are in French Bruxellois, but once a week you can try Flemish Bruxellois (and be even more confused). The dialect survives mostly as a strong accent and vocabulary: you’re most likely to hear it amongst the older generation and Flemish speakers.
In the interval, you can drink yet more beer amongst retired 30 year old puppets in the tiny museum-cum-bar. Meanwhile I’m mulling over a line from the performance, “Justice is a snail. It will come in its own time.”
Performances at 20:30, and at 16:00 and 20:30 on Saturdays.
Check online to see what is playing, and reserve places online or by telephone a couple of days beforehand if you can.
www.toone.be/
Impasse Sainte-Pétronille, Rue du Marché-aux-Herbes 66, 1000 Brussels
+32 2 513 54 86
Google map: bit.ly/PYFjRD
* Bec is our Been there local for Brussels. You can view her profile here: www.ivebeenthere.co.uk/articles/brussels-local-rebecca.jsp and follow her tips here: www.ivebeenthere.co.uk/travellers/Becinbrussels
Pushing open the door of this rickety townhouse you have become a child in a book, sneaking inside a mysterious attic. Your gaze fixes on piles of cardboard boxes, two enormous stuffed tigers and heaving wooden display cabinets as old as their contents.
There is a logic to the displays, but you notice that this is not applied rigidly. There are train sets, dolls, cowboys and Indians and piggy banks competing with model kitchens, tin soldiers and wind-up ladybirds. There’s wood and metal, but not so much plastic. Teddy bears can be found everywhere, along with wooden toys to climb on and plenty of corners to play hide and seek. Through a window you glimpse a workshop where dolls’ limbs and broken rocking horses hang, just waiting to be nursed back to life. Other children laugh and chatter away as they clamber on the exhibits, and the adults seek out their own childhood toys and rarer items such as a Noah’s ark, paper theatre or dolls houses behind glass. They’d say the only thing that’s missing is a coffee shop.
Then I stumble across André, the curator of the museum tucked in a room downstairs, working with a young apprentice. He says that as a father of six children, he found he was always packing and unpacking toys. The idea for a museum came automatically thirty years ago, and it has now been in its current location for 22 years. “It’s dusty, noisy and full of bric-a-brac”, he smiles. “But people still really like it.” The children will tell him that he has understood the interactivity part all right, unlike many other stuffier museums. “A toy has to be played with”, André says. Luckily it is easier to acquire toys that are a little worn, and that explains the 35,000 objects, the 700 or so teddy bears, the vaults underground and the crammed attic above. “It’s a lot of work”, says André of the constant tidying, unpacking and restoration, “but really it’s a pleasure.”
He’s even written a book about working at the museum, with a name strikingly similar to that of a famous film. Thinking about it, this place is the perfect setting for a film, if only the toys came alive after dark …
www.museedujouet.eu
Rue de l'Association/Verenigingstraat 24
1000 Brussels, Belgium
+32 (0)2 219 61 68
Metro: Madou or Botanique
Google map: bit.ly/vAouzO
* Bec is our Been there local for Brussels. You can view her profile here: www.ivebeenthere.co.uk/articles/brussels-local-rebecca.jsp and follow her tips here: www.ivebeenthere.co.uk/travellers/Becinbrussels
Surprisingly, the centre of Brussels has probably the best interactive playground/museum to indulge your inner child or just the kids.
Scentastic is located underground at the Bourse metro/tram stop, and is just a couple of minutes walk from the Grand Place.
Once you’ve found the understated entrance (difficult, even if you know it’s there) you enter what looks like a large romper room/playground, all primary colours and play equipment.
Scientastic will then amaze and educate through its use of simple psychological, physiological perception experiments.
Virtually everything is hands on and a simple explanation leaflet can explain some of the impossible thing you encounter.
Try to arrive just as they open as usually a multi-lingual member of staff will perform a series of moves in front of a mirror.
Then go and play and explore at your leisure, it can and should take at least a couple of hours, adults will at least be surprised and kids just love it.
scientastic.com/
Boulevard Anspach 72-73, 1000 Brussels
Google map: tinyurl.com/ry3ouq
Brussels makes a great weekend trip with children.
Not so big and overwhelming, with so many "must sees," as Paris, but more than enough to keep you busy.
And there is loads of great chocolate - need I say more?
Don't miss MIM, with more than 1,000 ancient and rare instruments from around the world.
There is a lovely cafe overlooking the city on the top floor.
The best place we've found to stay with kids: Novotel Centre/Tour Noire. It has a cool hammam/indoor swimming pool surrounded by rocks which creates a very cool atmosphere. It is walking distance to Grand Place, also to many waterside restaurants and off-the-beaten path neighborhood places and playgrounds, good ethnic restaurants nearby, easy access to train station.
If you have more than a weekend, take a day trip to Bruges, Antwerp, or any other place in Belgium: distances are short!
Be sure to visit Bobbejaanland Amusement Park. It is a great day out for all the family with rides to suit all ages, and very friendly
Watch the Son et Lumiere show in the Grand Place. Make sure you get there early and take an outside table in one of the bars on the Grand Place,
buy a Belgian speciality fruit beer and savour both the beer and the show.
And when it finishes, take a short walk to Chez Leon (rue des Bouchers) for the speciality of the house - Mussels and Chips - 14 different mussel speciality meals to choose from.
nb Children under 12 accompanied by parents are entitled to a free meal.
From mid July until August 14 an area on the banks of the Brussels-Charleroi Canal is opened as a summer "beach" - the Bruxelles les Bains. There are palm trees, olive trees and bamboos in grassy and sandy areas, where you can sit in the sun in free deck chairs and enjoy exotic food and drink stalls and free entertainment for both adults and children. Particularly nice for young children - sand to play in and water activities. Admission is free. A great place to put your feet up after museums etc.
It's started four years ago, and is repeated yearly.
As nice as the tourist traps of the Grand Place are, you could do a lot worse than try this excellent family run bar/restaurant in the popular but sedate St Catherine area.
This a place where locals eat and drink, reflected in the menu and the prices. There are the usual steaks and moules frites, but you can try other typical Brusselois fare such as Anguilles au Vert (eels in green sauce and nicer than it sounds), Stoemp and even horse!
This is a very friendly, real place and well worth a try even if only for a drink before eating at the excellent St Catherine restaurants. Only a brief stroll from Bourse.
Rue St Catherine; The nearest metros are St Catherine or Bourse
This fabulous toyshop is small but perfectly formed. Peculiar in its arrangement (you'll have to go to see what I mean), your child will adore everything they have here. Although prices are reasonable, you'll come away with a lot of bags and not many Euro left in your account. There’s too many irresistible things!
Grasmarkt, 39 Rue du Marché-aux-Herbes,
Brussels; From Godiva in the Grand Place, head towards the Bourse, but take the first turning on the right, next left and you're there
Le Meridien is a fabulous five-star hotel a very short stroll (downhill) from the Grand Place. With very attentive (but not overbearing staff) and a fabulous (although you may want to 'treat' yourself one night as it can be a tad pricey) restaurant, you will leave feeling relaxed and spoilt.
If you call the hotel direct and not via the call centre you will get some fabulous deals.
Although a business/diplomat hotel at heart, our three children, aged four, eight and 12, are always welcomed.
Le Meridien Brussels, Carrefour de l'Europe 3, Brussels; brussels.lemeridien.com
Tervuren Park is a tram ride from the city centre. Walk around the lakes or wander along the trails in the woods. You can get to the Africa museum and its formal grounds from the park or go into Tervuren centre and sample the patisseries and shops.
Take the No 44 'Tervuren' tram from Montgomery metro. The park and museum are just opposite the tram stop
A masterpiece of design, the main surviving relic of the 1958 World Fair, the Atomium is a giant aluminium and stainless-steel representation of the atoms in a steel molecule. Recently renovated to its original shining glory, the Atomium will reopen for visitors in February 2006. Features will include a top-floor restaurant with panoramic views. The building will host exhibitions and artefacts from the 1958 fair, but the building is worth a visit on its own.
Square Atomium, 1020 Brussels; Metro 1A to Heysel; www.atomium.be
Take the kids on a tour of Europe where they can see a 4m Big Ben and a 13m Eiffel Tower.
Mini Europe, Bruparck; Tel: +32 02 478 0550; www.minieurope.com/
For children and grown-up children alike, this museum is a wonderland. Belgium, of course, is the home of Tintin and this museum houses an extensive collection of Tintin-related exhibits, alongside other Belgian comic strips, old and new.
Not only is there a fantastic collection of original drawings and memorabilia, including the rocket that took Tintin to the moon, but it's all housed in a wonderfully glamorous building by Victor Horta, whose art nouveau architecture has become synonymous with Brussels.
The museum has a superb gift shop where you can buy, as I did, an amazingly characterful furry Milou (Snowy) of your own to take home: mine, intended for my mother, was too adorable and has stayed with me ever since.
20 rue des Sables, Brussels;
Tel: 2 21 91 980
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