Unpredictable, vibrant, chaotic and occasionally downright dangerous, at least Bogotá will never be boring. It has more armed security guards and police to guard it than seems possible, and still occasionally something blows up. It’s a cultural powerhouse in which bullet-proof 4x4s share the streets with beggars pushing handcarts, an academic standard-bearer where starving desplazados still sleep in the gutter outside restaurants full of millionaires.

No one is ever on time, nor expected to be, the women are stunning, the nightlife second to none and the weather changes every half hour: Bogotanos are the only people on earth to talk about it as much as the English. In general the locals could not be friendlier, as long as they are not trying to rob or kidnap you. Like many, I came for a few weeks and stayed a few years. There is clearly something about the place.

Until you find your feet, bear in mind the city works on a grid, with Carerras running north/south and the Calles running east/west. Treat Carrera 7 (la Septima) as your main thoroughfare. The Northern districts, including the nightlife hotspots of Parque 93 and the Zona Rosa are more cosmopolitan and safer, anything further south than Calle 2 beyond the Candelaria may mean taking your life in your hands.

Take sensible precautions, especially at night; don’t carry anything of great value and book taxis wherever possible rather than taking them off the street.