This gem of a car park is about five or six layers deep, with piped music. See the racks of gorgeous mobiles, incarcerated beneath the surface. Travel in the glass lift and emerge into a scented garden. It really is by far the best bit of the appalling cesspit that is St Tropez. In fact don't bother leaving the car park, you might be disappointed. The rest of Tropez is a vacuous, fake hell on earth, populated by desperate people who are all on show, all of the time.

On the main road into this souped up horror of a fishing "village".

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Many places are prettier. Almost anywhere is less crowded and a lot cheaper, but St Tropez has to be the ultimate south of France.

Blag your way into one of the town’s big three beach clubs — La Voile Rouge, Club 55 or Nikki Beach — or as a last resort pay.

This is the jetset at play — Russian millionaires swigging Crystal and tons of beautiful, famous people you haven’t quite heard of.

La Voile Rouge, Moorea Beach (+4 9479 8434).
Club 55, Boulevard Patch (+4 9455 5555, leclub55.com).
Nikki Beach, Route de Epi Ramatuelle (+4 9479 8204, nikkibeach.com/sttropez/)

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I spent a lot of time on the Cote D'Azur as a student and longed to go back but with a young family thought it would be almost impossible to find somewhere suitable and not too expensive.

This wonderful campsite, which we booked through Keycamp, however, proved just the job.

Not far from the glamour of St Tropez, it has everything for the perfect family holiday - including fab swimming pool and even a children's club. Accommodation was great too - we stayed in a really well equipped mobile home under the shade of a lovely forest.

www.keycamp.co.uk/index.cfm/fuseaction/campsites.resortoverview/mastercode/159/ver/2.cfm

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