La Tarte de Ma Tante on Ferdinand Bolstraat - a tea shop with the kitschiest decor ever seen, and magnificent multi-coloured fake three tier cakes adorning every table.

The real cakes that they serve are pretty magnificent too. This is the Barbara Cartland of tea-shops.

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Laws still apply in Amsterdam - remember roken means smoking and niet roken means no-smoking. Liberal but laws apply!

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Head to Amsterdam on April 30 - the Dutch Queen's birthday.

With sound stages and dancing in the street wherever you turn, it’s like an urban Glastonbury, or the Notting Hill Carnival with a friendlier vibe.

It’s impossible not to have a brilliant time, even if you take a dim view of some of the ‘Dam’s more liberal trademarks - don't turn up without sorting accommodation though, or you may find yourself kipping in the same hotel (complete with rat trap under the bed) that I ended up at...

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Take a break from the busy bars and coffee shops by visiting Hortus Botanicus in the Plantage district of the city.

There you will find the most amazing plants in giant greenhouses.

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On visiting Amsterdam, via Eurostar, we were unaware that it is customary in Amsterdam to pay to go to the loo in a bar/night club, as I and probably many other Brits discovered when I barged past a Filipino lady stood near the entrance to the toilet with her hand held out.

These ladies of the toilette actually rent the toilets from the bar owner and for cleaning them charge you.

For those of you with weak bladders, this could prove expensive!

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Forget about trams, trains, buses or taxis while you're in Amsterdam. Hire a bike or walk, you'll find loads of places you'd have missed otherwise.

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You'll need a detailed map, with memorable monuments. It is very easy to get lost as many of the streets look the same.

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If you are visiting Anne Frank's house get there early, before it opens.

Then you will be one of the first in and can wander around at your own speed, rather than being in a long queue that snakes it's way around the house.

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Whether you are walking or staggering around this great city, make sure to note the different special 'lanes' - there is one for pedestrians, one for bicycles,one for cars and one for trams!

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Don't bother trying to take a car there, or to hire one. The public transport system is amazing, very prompt, very clean, cheap, goes everywhere.

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Remember that many of the pavements don't have kerbs, so make sure you don't wander into cycle lanes/trams/traffic!

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After checking in, and whilst waiting to board the train, pop into the duty free shop and choose a nice bottle of champagne. The Eurostar staff seem more than happy for passengers to 'bring their own' and it makes the journey feel especially luxurious!

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My tip for Amsterdam is to leave the city immediately on a local train and go to Rotterdam - almost as pretty, and minus the drunken English clubbers and 'coffee-house' tourists.

While you're there take in The Boijmans Van Beuningen Museum of Art, a marvellous collection of modern and Dutch art; go on a Wednesday, when it’s free.

www.boijmans.nl/smartsite.dws?id=2039276

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See a film in its original language at the multiscreen cinema in the wonderful Art Deco Tuschinski Theatre. Get there early and enjoy a drink in the stunning foyer.

26-28 Reguliersbreestraat

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Start the day by heading to De Bakkerswinkel bakery on 69 Warmoesstraat for a delightful breakfast. Their filled rolls, fresh from the oven are divine.

Work off breakfast by exploring the canals, visiting the floating Singel flower market and buying tulip bulbs for green-fingered friends and family. Take in some culture at the Van Gogh museum; alternatively, if the sun is shining, head south for a picnic in Vondelpark.

Spend the evening relaxing over delicious food and wine at Morlang (Keizersgracht 451); on a warm evening, sit on the terrace outside, overlooking one of Amsterdam’s tranquil canals.

www.debakkerswinkel.nl/

www.amsterdamtourist.nl/en/home/about+amsterdam/Amsterdam+Surprise/article/xp/content_artikel.Surprise+EN+-Floating+flower+market/default.aspx

www.morlang.nl/

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Turn right when you leave the rail station in Amsterdam. The area is full of lots of little shops selling a wide variety of interesting things.

There is also a small local supermarket, so you can buy food that doesn't cost a small fortune. Keep your eyes open for the local coffee chain Bagels & Beans - they sell a good-sized, reasonably-priced cup of coffee.

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Visit Gaucho's restaurant (Damstraat 5) - they did the most amazing steak I have ever tasted!

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No matter how much you have drunk or smoked, avoid eating anything from one of those shops that's just loads of tiny microwaves filled with burgers etc. They will make you very ill!

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Head for Amstelveen (easy by tram/bus) for a change of scene and a relaxed shop - there's even a proper market.

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You should always visit Droog, the design shop at Staalstraat 7a-7b, for a hundred moments of 'why didn't I think of that'. It makes simplicity beautiful.

www.droogdesign.nl

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