If you are finding the heat a bit too much there are plenty of enclosed air-conditioned bars with a western theme, be they Irish, English, Belgian or whatever. Here you can eat “comfort food” and watch replays of your favourite old TV shows and live football.

If you’re tired out by all this...get a massage. Make sure it’s actually a massage establishment and not a “gentleman’s relaxation” facility! There are plenty of small boutiques you can go in and get a 1or 2 hour leg rub for about 200 to 400 baht and some beautiful spas that will pamper you for the best part of a day for a few grand.

Pattaya remains one of the few seaside towns where anyone can do just about anything they want.... But at half the price!

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At the other end of the price range there are the small Thai restaurants and street stalls dotted all over town, many won’t have a menu in English so just walk in, sit down and look hungry - let them bring you something and try and guess what it is you’re eating for (a lot) less than $5 for 2 (you can’t go wrong!). A bowl of street noodles can be as little as 15 baht.

Just one phrase you might find useful...."Mai Pet" (one for the Geordies!) - this means “not hot”...it won’t mean no chillies but it might bring it down to a level where you can just about eat it! - “Mai Prik” is NO chillies at all.

And for the mindless, bootless and unhorsed, the culturally stagnant and the grossly obese, there is the usual plethora of fast food outlets - McD’s, KFC, and Burger King....how can people eat that stuff!?!?!? And WHY when you are in a land of gastronomic delights, would you? (My comfort food of choice is a big plate of liver and onions - mmmmmmm!)

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Eating out in Pattaya & Jomtien is a treat. There’s everything form every country and it’s all cheap! Even the upmarket stuff is half what you’d pay in Europe. You can eat US, French, Russian, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Full English Breakfast, Italian, Belgian, Dutch, German - what am I doing? The list is endless.
BUT
There’s one I’ve missed out....THAI food! Thai food is wonderful - everything from mild Chinese based noodles to hot and spicy Issan food, seafood, barbeque, Tom Yam soups - try it, you’ll love it.

If you want to spend a bit of money try Ruen Thai on 2nd road or Sugar Hut on Thap Phraya Rd, the hill between Jomtien and Pattaya.

Ruen Thai has great food from all the regions in Thailand and puts on an ethnic floor show of music, dance and even Thai boxing demonstrations!

Sugar Hut is in fact a very beautiful resort, the restaurant is in a traditional Thai style wooden house. The atmosphere is amazing - you remove your shoes on entering the dining area and the seating is either traditional low or for those of us who are less flexible there are “normal” height chairs and tables. Everything is teak and silk....just a pity the menu is so badly written and the food is a little on the bland side, but for a one off evening out it’s a must.

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