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Brighton rock
Photo: Guardian

Shore thing
The trouble with Brighton is that they've left the West Pier, which burned down, some say by arson. No one's got the money either to tear it down or to replace it, so it's a terrible eyesore on what should be one of the great seascapes in Britain. You see the Constable painting of Brighton Beach and you realise what a philistine piece of vandalism that pier is. Then there's the convention centre, one of the ugliest buildings in the country, put there on this magnificent stretch of coastline. Apart from that it's a great place - very louche, full of bosses having affairs with their secretaries. There's plenty to do and you can have a pretty good time. It's always exciting and uplifting.
The best place to roam
The Lanes and the Laine
The Lanes are another fantastic free attraction with their curiosity and antique shops. The North Laine, spelled differently for some reason, is another quite extraordinary place - it's a kind of hippy Ground Zero for Britain. You could spend a day wondering around here and the prices are extremely low.

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Best thing to do for free
The Pavillion
You've simply got to see it.

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The thing to eat
Fish and chips
You should never bother with English's restaurant which is overpriced and not all that brilliant. The thing to do is go to the Regency and the Melrose, two fish restaurants run by Cypriots just at Regency Square where you can get for about £6 the finest cod and chips you will get anywhere in Britain. But they also do oysters, lobster, plaice and Dover sole, wonderful chips. It's first rate and hard to spend more than £15-20 a head for a feast.

The Regency, 131 King's Road, BN1 2HH; 01273 325014; www.theregencyrestaurant.co.uk. The Melrose, 132 Kings Road; 01273 326520

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Where to stay (moderate)
Hilton Brighton Metropole
The Metropole Hotel was mentioned by TS Eliot in The Wasteland. One of the very few hotels in the country to appear in the works of the 20th century's greatest poet.

Kings Road, BN1 2FU; 01273 775432; www.hilton.com/en/hi/hotels/index.jhtml?ctyhocn=BSHMETW

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Where to stay (posh)
The Grand Hotel
You've got a great sight in the Grand Hotel, which was bombed while Mrs Thatcher was writing her conference speech.

King's Road, BN1 2FW; 01273 224300; www.grandbrighton.co.uk

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