There's a cool looking toy shop and a well stocked Deli (oppo the Bookshop). There's also the narrowest hotel in the world...but otherwise a place badly in need of a kick up the noughties. No kids either and a horrible religious neo-con atmosphere in some places, culminating in the "singing potter" - bible bashing pot thrower who'll scare you to death should you venture inside - don't bother, the chintzy, dusty, drab earthenware visible in the window should be warning enough.

If I return it will be to enjoy the under-rated Southern Uplands (great walking & mtn biking, Grey Mare's Tail is a good spot for kids and adults alike, the waterfall stunning after rain and all set in a dramatic glacial U valley). As for the town itself, well it's all a bit disorientating. You're served by poor young blighters of Moffat, so prim and unsurly in serving you and so surely repressed by a ruling OLD order no doubt entrenched in cobwebs in the town hall - you want to offer em a free bus tkt to the bright lights of Glasgow (city, fun, music, dancing, sex) - honest - all these things are possible in the outside world. The Best Western hotel off the Market Place is all the proof needed that this is a town lost up its aged self - a fabulous looking building, inappropriately refurbished, externally at least, with a a garish perversion otherwise seen only in the axminster of the box room round your grans.

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Can't vouch for the stock! but a friendly, helpful owner...bringing you down to "Moffat-time" after you've hurtled up the M6 in that "2001"-type-rush thats possible in the flat borderlands north of carlisle. As for Moffat itself: a haven for bus tours and it shows, the cafe's look cutesy but they extend for miles behind a genteel fascade, to cater for millions of pensioners stopping for a wee on their bus tour to Balmoral! Forget nice coffee, cake or even decent locally produced fry-ups. Its in a country kitchen stylee but its as formulaic, dated, bland and tasteless as your nearest DFS.

Moffat, Southern Uplands, Scotland

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