The loo in your average Brussels night bar will be guarded fiercely by a ‘Madame Pee-Pee’ - an elderly Belgian lady camped at a small wooden desk who job it is to hustle you for Euro 50 cents and upwards in exchange for toilet access.

Make sure you always have your ‘Pee-pee’ fund to hand, as no amount of reasoning, wriggling, or pleading will get you in if you haven’t got the cash.

Cross them at your own peril. They may look old and frail, but they are stronger than you think. A frind of mine, not a small girl, was once pinned against a wall for several minutes by an irate ‘Madame Pee-Pee’ for trying to sneak in without paying!

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