Unspeakable prices - $500 plus a night. Strictly for those who don't look at the numbers on the end of the bill.
4 Neglinnaya Ulitsa; tel: 095 783 1234; moscow.park.hyatt.com/
A few minutes walk from the Bolshoi and the centre. Doubles start at £125.
2/18 Petrovskaya Liniya; Tel: 095 921 1060; http:// www.hotel-budapest.ru/
Enormous Stalinesque building where you'll have to immerse yourself in the sense of history to ignore the lack of any extras. Around €70 a night for a double.
2/1 Kutuzovsky Prospekt; Tel: 095 933 5656
A tourist hang-out, but also the preferred eaterie of the well-heeled. High-end Russian cuisine where smoked meat meets pickled fish. Expect to pay at least £50 a head.
26a Tverskoi Bulvar; tel: 095 229 5590; nearest metro: Tverskaya
Apparently an exclusive club-restaurant, but they let anyone in who asks nicely (in Russian). Traditional Russian food, ice cold vodka, and bizarre caricature busts of everyone from Lady Di to Dostoyevski. £15 a head for vodka and food.
24 Myasnitskaya Ulitsa (in a courtyard away from the street); Tel: 095 923 0082; nearest metro: Christiye Prudy
Azerbaijani food (a little like Georgian, but with more herbs and less melted cheese). Kebabs, pickled vegetable stuffed in previously unimaginable ways. Try the kutab with pumpkin (kutab s tykvy). Drink Georgian Saperavi wine. A drunken feast for about £30 a head.
52 Povarskaya Ulitsa; Tel: 291 6376; nearest metro: Barrikadnaya
Mikhail Bulgakov's masterpiece is the definitive Moscow novel.
Nikita Mikhalkov’s epic about the 30s purges, which of course culminates in an apartment just off Red Square.
Take a boat on the river, past the Novodevichy monastery, Gorky Park and the Kremlin. They leave every 20 minutes between 12 pm and 8 pm from the pier at Kiev Station
The spiritual home of Bulgakov's masterpiece and Moscow's soul. A park in the city centre.
Nearest metro: Mayakovskaya
Sushi is all the rage, but you should try this. Grilled meat, fresh vegetables and hachipuri, bread stuffed with melted cheese - easily the most addictive substance in the former Soviet Union.
Genatsvali restaurant on Ostozhenka, 12/1 (nearest metro: Park Kultury) is not the cheapest, but perhaps the best.
A New York-style delicatessen. Exquisite pizzas and omelettes. Rack of the finest lamb in town. Increasingly and annoyingly popular.
Bolshaya Gruzinskaya; www.correas.ru/
Old tsarist manor of winding paths and shaded corners.
Phone: 095 561 9660; museum.ru/museum/archang/entere.htm
Little wooden dolls that fit inside each other, often with the faces of leaders in descending order, Lenin last, of course.
Twentieth-century Russian art. You will need several hours to marvel at the avant-garde and socialist realist masterpieces that bring to life what was happening on the other side of the Iron Curtain.
10 Krymsky Val; Tel: 095 951 1362; nearest metro: Park Kultury; www.tretyakovgallery.ru/english
Traditional Russian baths from the 18th century. Wrap yourself in nothing but a sheet, sit in the hot, purging steam and then jump into a freezing cold-water pool. A perfect hangover cure that, worryingly, leaves you wanting a cold beer (also on offer). Expect to pay around £20 a head for the whole experience.
14 Neglinniy Pereulok; tel: 095 925 4631
Outside the Conservatory concert hall on Bolshaya Nikitskaya. A summer terrace and a warm, cavernous interior for the endless winter.
13 Bolshaya Nikitskaya Ulitsa. Tel: 095 229 3901. Nearest metro: Okhotny Ryad
As long as the Kremlin security lets you that day, otherwise stand near it. It's where it all began, ended, and will go on.
Nearest metro: Okhotny Ryad
The awkwardness of the various other modes of transport from Sheremetyevo means that taxis are the most viable option. Join the queue for fixed-rate taxis and under no circumstances accept offers from unlicensed drivers inside the terminal.
Afisha and Bolshoi Gorod are in Russian, but are the definitive guides. The Moscow Times is the city’s English language bible, with Go magazine as its entertainment guide (go-magazine.ru).
Send your feedback or queries to been.there@guardian.co.uk
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