You should never bother with English's restaurant which is overpriced and not all that brilliant. The thing to do is go to the Regency and the Melrose, two fish restaurants run by Cypriots just at Regency Square where you can get for about £6 the finest cod and chips you will get anywhere in Britain. But they also do oysters, lobster, plaice and Dover sole, wonderful chips. It's first rate and hard to spend more than £15-20 a head for a feast.

The Regency, 131 King's Road, BN1 2HH; 01273 325014; www.theregencyrestaurant.co.uk. The Melrose, 132 Kings Road; 01273 326520

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The Metropole Hotel was mentioned by TS Eliot in The Wasteland. One of the very few hotels in the country to appear in the works of the 20th century's greatest poet.

Kings Road, BN1 2FU; 01273 775432; www.hilton.com/en/hi/hotels/index.jhtml?ctyhocn=BSHMETW

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The Lanes are another fantastic free attraction with their curiosity and antique shops. The North Laine, spelled differently for some reason, is another quite extraordinary place - it's a kind of hippy Ground Zero for Britain. You could spend a day wondering around here and the prices are extremely low.

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You've simply got to see it.

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It begins with a very, very slow ride up a very steep hill, at which point you can see miles and miles of coast down to the Lake District, then it turns to the right and then it plunges to earth in the longest drop of any rollercoaster in Britain and one of the highest in the world. And while it's dropping it tilts to the right at an angle of 90 degrees. The climb reminds me of what they say about childbirth – if women didn't forget what it was actually like, no one would have any brothers or sisters. It really is a terrifying moment when you get to the top.

Blackpool Pleasure Beach

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I used be a great fan of the Yates Wine Lodge, a great northern tradition. It used to offer what they called 'champagne on draft', but it always seemed to come from a bottle as far as I could see. There was always something nice about going and having some of their champagne - which you could have used to top up your car battery, it wasn't one of the 'grandes marques' – and eat one of their famous Bosley beef sandwiches. An elderly man stood in front of a gigantic baron of beef and took a white roll, dipped the top of it in gravy, and took a great big slab of fat and gristle with some flecks of meat in it, put it on the lower part of the roll and slapped the slopping gravy-sodden roll on the top. There was enough sheer protein, energy and calories to see you through a long day at conference.

The Promenade

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You've got a great sight in the Grand Hotel, which was bombed while Mrs Thatcher was writing her conference speech.

King's Road, BN1 2FW; 01273 224300; www.grandbrighton.co.uk

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